Judgment Day ... Really?

Today is May 21, 2011, and according to internet crazies/radio crazies/ billboards purchased by internet crazies and radio crazies, it’s Judgment Day — one of two days instrumental in ridding the world of sinners — the other being Oct. 21, according to a nonsensical website.

It’s a pity that the world is ending this year, but the events leading up to Judgment Day have been entertaining for me.

According to “Facts about May 21, 2011” on familyradio.com, which is run by Harold Camping, a man who, according to his website, has studied the Bible for “over five decades,” “AT THIS TIME IN HISTORY THERE IS NO VALID, BIBLICAL EVIDENCE OR AUTHORITY WHICH INDICATES THAT WE CANNOT KNOW THE PRECISE DAY OF JUDGMENT. THE GREAT AMOUNT OF BIBLICAL SIGNS AND PROOFS ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEE THAT JUDGMENT DAY WILL BEGIN ON MAY 21st THIS YEAR.”

Anything written in bold, all-capital letters has to be accurate and taken seriously, right? And who can question a “guarantee?”

I heard about the world ending/Judgment Day in whisper-down-the-lane fashion — I’m sure this is how God would have wanted it to be.

I don’t really understand it, but I find that all of this end-of-the-world talk is tantamount to fantasizing about winning the lottery.

 “What are you going to do when the world ends tomorrow at 6 p.m.?”

“I’m going to steal a Ferrari!”

“What about repenting for all your sins?”

“To hell with that! I signed up to watch all of the good Christians’ dogs once their owners are beamed off the planet. Cash advances, y’all!”

"Maybe I'll just do some good, ol' fashioned looting!"

I’ll be enjoying a single-malt scotch in the company of my friends ... should I not get the invite.

The “lottery” part also applies to Harold Camping.

People make predictions about the world ending all the time. As a kid, I remember taking the subway home from Masterman on Spring Garden Street in Philadelphia. On my walk to the subway — perhaps every other day — there was a nut preaching about the end of the world … wearing a sandwich board.

Nothing says "credibility" like a sandwich board! 

That was almost 20 years ago, and the nut called for the end of the world at the end of each week.

Somehow, the media and the general public became tethered to Harold Camping’s vision of the end of the world.

Good for him — there were a lot of end-of-the-world scenarios from which to choose!

But what if today isn’t Judgment Day? Let’s refer to the website.

 “The Biblical evidence is too overwhelming and specific to be wrong. Christ's people can look with great confidence to this date because God promises His "beloved" [sic] He will not come upon them as a thief in the night. God in His mercy has revealed the vital information needed to know the day. Judgment Day on May 21, 2011 will occur because the bible declares it. Anyone whom [sic] God has not saved will arrive at that day with no hope for salvation. God warns simply the "door will be shut."

Powerful stuff. 

I can't wait for this guy's excuse for Judgment Day not happening today. 

The world isn’t going to end today; today isn’t Judgment Day. If today does turn out to be Judgment Day, I’ll buy Camping a Coke.

Today is a big joke, but I think it’s a good day to take inventory of your life — as if the world were going to end. And for this opportunity, I thank you, Harold Camping.