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Health & Fitness

DECORATING AFTER DIVORCE – Let Go of the Past and Embrace the Future

Speaking from personal experience, it’s not easy when a marriage ends. Whatever reason for the split, the breakup of a relationship can trigger many painful and unsettled feelings. A divorce launches us into unmapped emotional territory as everything in life is disrupted – your home, work, routine, relationships with family and friends, even your identity. While recovering from divorce is difficult, it’s important to remember that you can and will move on.

 

During this period, there are several things you can do to heal more quickly – one is set up your home so that it is a nurturing and supportive environment for you and your family. The trick is in turning a difficult life transition into positive renewal and this experience creates a new opportunity to provide warmth, comfort and vitality just when a family needs it most.

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Straightening out your home is a metaphor for life, so when you work on your home, you work on yourself. While it hurts to watch the dissolution of a home as represented by the division of belongings, decorating a new space, or redecorating space you shared as a married couple is a powerful exercise in moving on and reasserting your sense of self. Beginning with the basics, here are several tips to get you organized, energized and on track.

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CLEAR THE CLUTTER – Visual chaos adds to stress, and clutter holds heavy, stagnant energy that can make it difficult if not impossible to move forward in life. So whether you are staying in the marital home or moving somewhere new, clear out the clutter. This includes paper, clothes, books, furniture, decorations, gifts, unfinished projects, broken things and items with negative associations. For many people, the most difficult thing when starting to redefine their space is determining what they should keep and what they should get rid of. An easy way to approach this problem is to ask yourself if the item is Used, Needed or Loved. If the answer is no, then the object can be considered clutter. If you have the time, create a weekly schedule and allocate two hours a day to chip away at sorting your belongings. Working room by room in a clockwise direction, start by writing a checklist and use a colored sticker system for Keep, Family, Charity and Dispose. As you collect items and then make arrangements for pick-up or drop-off, make notes about special organizing projects that also need to be addressed along the way.

CLEAN – Cleaning is very powerful as our external environment mirrors our internal one, so when you clean your home, you are also cleansing your mind, body and spirit. This literal and symbolic cleanse allows for increased clarity which in turn improves your ability to manifest specific desires and bring about more ideal conditions in life. Additionally, the sooner you clean, the less likely you are to come across a stray item that could potentially stir up unexpected and difficult emotions at inopportune moments, like on your way to work or to your children’s soccer game.

 

FURNITURE INVENTORY – After you have cleared the clutter and cleaned, the next step is a furniture inventory. Again, working room by room, take pictures of all the furnishings in each space. As you go, include a list with basic Height x Width x Depth measurements for moving estimates, estate sales, space planning, and or divorce proceedings. When evaluating what to keep, sometimes it’s easiest to identify your least favorite pieces to let go of first. After that you can ask: How will this item enrich my life? Does this furniture truly reflect who I am? Can I repurpose, refine or reuse this item in my new home? Can I live without it? Again use the color sticker system and note, do not get rid of anything that is not yours to make a decision about. If the item in question belongs to someone else, the best approach is to list all of the items that belong to that person and send the list so they can decide for themselves.

LET IT GO – If you are in a time-crunch and making a big move, you may consider hiring the services of an estate sale firm or auction company. Many of these services come into your home and will advertise and manage the sale for you, as well as clean out your home, making the process less stressful. Other options include having a garage sale, working with local consignment shops, online eBay resellers and Craigslist. Donating to schools, religious organizations, career centers, caregiver facilities, homeless shelters and animal shelters are also wonderful options. When donating, be creative and think about whom would be interested in the items you have – is there a specific organization or group that would benefit most from the item in question? You can also host a casual party to give away the specific items you’ve selected for family and friends and then let them choose from the rest.

Above all, remain focused on the task at hand – your goal is to simplify your home in order to best prepare for the future. Letting go of these items will create a feeling of freedom and a literal burst of energy allowing you to continue moving ahead.

Once you have cleared, cleaned and prepped, it’s time to consider the design elements for your new space. Stay tuned for next week's installment on the topic of design tips and tricks of the trade to help get you started.

Written by,Kate Cummings | Freestyle Restylekate@freestylerestyle.com
| 917.282.9764 |
www.freestylerestyle.comwww.houzz.com/pro/kate-cummings/public


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