OMG PD: Drunken Masturbator Rams Police Car, Cops Say
This week's stories include a man who was caught with his pants down at the 19th Hole, an alleged thief who struck the same grocery store for the sixth time in two months and a corporate center with an itchy fire alarm trigger.
Montco Man Caught with his Pants Down: According to a report in the Abington Patch, a drunken 38-year-old man did not take kindly to having his personal time interrupted by police.
Police allegedly caught the man masturbating in his vehicle in the parking lot of the 19th Hole Lounge. Upon ordering the man to put his pants on and exit the vehicle, the man reportedly put his vehicle in reverse, slammed on the gas and struck the police officer's vehicle.
Corporate Center Evactuated Again, This Time for Toast: According to a report in the Plymouth-Whitemarsh Patch, the Spring Mill Corporate Center was once again evacuated—this time, for a piece of toast.
It's the third evacuation in less than a month, with the first being caused by a burnt pizza.
Thief Pulls Victoria's Secret Heist, Nets 30 Bras: According to a report in the Pottstown Patch, a thief—or thieves—took aim at the Victoria's Secret store located in the Coventry Mall.
The score? 30 bras.
Sixth Time's a Charm: According to a report in the Abington Patch, a 30-year-old man in desperate need of a shave was arrested after he was caught stealing from the same grocery store for the sixth time in two months.
Through the course of the man's alleged repeated robberies, he netted over $1,400 of disposable razors, $40 of Red Bull and $63 of teeth whitening strips.