Introducing advice columnist Elizabeth Mahoney
Today, one man questions getting back with a newly-divorced ex-girlfriend and a fiancee questions the motives of her man's former flames on Facebook
Dear Lizzie ...
I dated a girl back in college, and at the time, I cheated on her with her best friend. We broke up and I haven't seen her since. She got married and I've always thought of her in the back of my mind.
Recently, now in our 30s, she contacted me out of the blue. She told me she's getting a divorce and she wants to be with me.
There's another girl I've met and I like spending time with her. I'm just torn on what to do.
What do you suggest? Should I get back with my ex-girlfriend from a decade ago or write her off and keep things going with my current relationship?
– Second Chance?, Conshohocken
Dear Second Chance?,
If you want to be with your ex from college, that's great. But you have to understand she needs to go through the whole divorse process, move out and find herself again. Only then should you pursue building any kind of relationships.
It's great she's telling you this, but beware. Keep your distance. Take your time because she might want you now, and she might like the fact she's free from her husband. This means you could be left in the dust – again.
The girl you are seeing now: take her out on a date, get to know her. The ex-girlfriend from your past might not be the girl for your future.
Dear Lizzie ...
I am engaged to a wonderful man. We have much in common and I want to spend the rest of my life with him.
We are busy planning the wedding and there's much to be done.
Recently, I've noticed his ex-girlfriends are commenting on his status updates.
This didn't bother me before, but I am starting to feel it might be inappropriate.
Please let me know if I am just being crazy or if I am overreacting.
- Frustrated Facebook Fiance, Lansdale
First, congratulations on the wedding. I wish you all the happiness in the future.
You must realize that you are going to marry this man and he's going to be your man for the rest of your life.
Ex-girlfriends are called just that for a reason: they are the past.
Yes, girls can be sneaky and vindictive, but if you can trust him enough to marry him, then you can trust him to have ex-girlfriends on his Facebook.
The same goes for you: You can have ex-boyfriends on your Facebook as well. It's all reciprocal, mutual and fair.
With technology in this day and age, if a guy is going to cheat, it's very easy. But it's all about the trust in the one you're going to marry.
If you have doubts with girls talking to him on Facebook, then maybe you have doubts that you can't trust him.
Believe you me, I think it's in your head and you are stressed from the wedding planning.
The only thing you need to do is keep an eye out on certain things these ex-girlfriends say ; if its inappropriate, maybe you need to directly contact them.
He picked you, and he didn't pick them. That's telling you something right there.